The rules – there are rules

1. No cheese and jam combo is ever valid*

2. Jam should only be used on a plain scone, in this single use case, the jam should be raspberry.

3. No jam should be used on a fruit or cheese scone

4. No savoury preserve should be combined with fruit, obs.

5. *If no quince preserve is available, damson jam my be used with hard cheese. This is not a decision to be taken lightly, and evidence of the the level of extreme necessity should be noted , along with witnesses.

6. If proper fermented, salted butter is not available, then clotted cream may be used. It should be used in the same way as butter, spread onto the bread/scone/toast first. Jam on the bread/scone/toast first is wrong, obs.

7. Marmalade should not be viewed as a savoury preserve and spread on bacon.

8. For best results jams and marmalades should be used on good, preferably homemade, sourdough bread. If you think a hurriedly toasted slice of mighty white will serve a marmalade it took me 3 hours of peel slicing to make, think again. I do not hand out jars of jam, only for them to be damned by ill use.

9. Homemade Chutney and Piccalilli, can recover the dying to life , and restore failing spirits. Do the decent thing, and serve with the finest cheese. They may pep up a piece of mousetrap, but you will be letting yourself down.